revisions to in class essay

I am going to  add more counter examples, for example, examples of how women have less opportunities to work as a professional athlete.
I need to talk about the difference in what cultural expectations are as opposed to a social role.
The analysis of how families and individuals will change needs to be further explored.
And lastly I think I going to change some language to make the essay more advances in grammar and such.

Identity

Action:  What I do with my time is a symbol for my deep raw core identity.  I try my hardest to be the best I can be.  And I want to respect myself and that includes at sports, school, socially, and my body.  So I lift weights and practice.  I get to class on time and study.  I try to get past the basic human insecurities and open my heart to people and show them who I am trying to be.  One thing the hold me back in that social aspect is that people don’t always want to interact or don’t understand what they need to, to be social with me.  I am also not as physically able as I want t be right now, that’s why I lift weights because I want more ability.  I try to be conscience of what I eat and I feel guilty for eating poorly.     

Video for grandma:  I am making a video for just my grandmother.  My grandma and I are not necessarily close.  She lives far away and being a girl is probably a reason that we aren’t very close.  But I feel that I want her to know who I am because I am for her and I want to her to know that.  I’m going to make a volleyball video to show her how good I am at volleyball because she hasn’t ever seen me play.  Over the video a voiceover by me will explain who I am (who I think I am).  As she reaches the end of her life, she is the perfect person to tell that she is not alone and I hope it gives her courage and comfort at the end.    

Texting:  Talking through text is a simple way of showing identity.  It is different than texting however because I have time to think about what I can say, which is good and bad.  It gives the temptation of not being myself because I have time think about the message I want to say in a pleasing way, where if I were talking face to face the first think I were to say would be a good representation of my identity.  At the same time though the initial thing in my mind I want to say may not really represent me.  Be having time to think about who I want to be during this text allows me to be me.  

Analysis: The only one medium that represents me truly is the video because it is being made for that purpose but not much that people see so they comprehend what my identity truly is and the same is probably true for me when I see other people and their actions and texts, for example.  But that’s why I try as little as I can to judge or act based on a judgment of someone because no one knows.  I am not even sure I know who I am.  How could someone else come close to knowing?  I wasn’t confident to the answer of who I am until recently.  I’ve been confused and still am about it.   

I think people might think that I am a conformist.  This is because I do what teachers ask me, don’t go to parties, and do things that are “good”.  But I couldn’t be more resistant to what I am in society.  I only seem to be conformist because I am rebelling against the idea of a teenager, a college lifestyle, and etc.  The ideal child is not the model I am.  But even though through that logic I am rebellious it’s that my true identity still.  What I want is to give back to the community, I’ve been given so much in life, and I want to be an inspiration.  To be a inspiration I want to have it all; I want to be good looking, smart, tall, athletic, dress well, complete tasks of challenging proportion, etc.  But all those things are not what I want to inspire people, I want to be the guy to have all those things and to be just a normal guy with normal problems, who can respects someone with none of those things because it’s not about the material things it’s about what is inside your heart.  So by having all those material things and still being normal it’s just like taking all the things that people use for an identity away because it’s ultimately being only what I am without any of those, thus showing that it doesn’t matter what I have only who I am.  This is how I want it to inspire people.  No one should feel inferior or superior to anyone if one has more than the other, because at the end of the day they could be the same person inside, it just happens that one has something that gives him or her advantage in this world.  So the way I live my life is to be that inspiration and to gain that status so sometimes I have to do pleasing things or things that seem like the ideal child.  And yes I find it hard to authentically show this because I’m not at the status I want yet. 

The video is the real me.  I am making to show my grandma who I am because I want her to know and I want to tell someone who I am.  It’s getting a little depressing not being able to show it, especially when I see and know so many people who only respect material things in this world.   

I am still thinking about Mrs. Vincent’s example of the girl who is shy but also talkative on face book.  There is a connection between the differences in her actions based on a core identity.   

Different mediums

The topic I chose was how the use of different mediums can be used to target different audiences.  Basic examples of this are a commercial on the television, videos on the internet, and telemarketer calls someone at home. But the medias are not as important as the mediums in which they are presented.  

               A kid has tons of energy and a mind that is racing with new ideas around him or her and is eager to learn.  When a video medium ,such as a commercial on t.v., is presented to a kid that commercial is expected to be fast, explosive with ideas, colorful, and extremely catchy if it is targeting a kid.  Using a combination of the visual medium and the verbal sound medium to create a video medium in order to catch a kids attention and send him of her a message.  This is an example how a video medium is used to target an audience.  In this case it was a younger generation being targeted and the characteristics of the medium were being used to target.   This link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjzA7AqCMww is an example where there is an explosion in the beginning and extremely colorful.  What is ironic as well is that the Nickelodeon sign is a big colorful blob.
              The nickelodeon sign is a good example to compare the medium targeting a kid to a medium targeting an adult.  Would a big orange blob be a  good insignia to have for a serious law and order type show, where the main audience are adults?  Of course not.  This image of the CBS station http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/horsesmouth/2007/11/cbs_obama_is_do.php of having just that eye looking insignia is simple and not so catchy.  CBS in this link is talking about President Obama.  Not many kids are interested in politics.  The simple insignia also tells the viewers what this station will have on it and so one may assume some more adult interesting content,as apposed to a big orange blob.
             A large book is an example of a visual written medium.  A movie is an example pf a visual medium.  Most younger generation citizens don't have tons of time to sit down and read long novels.  But an older class citizen definitely does.  If I were to write a book,  my audience would probably be an audience with more time on their hands such as the older class.  However, if i directed a movie, my audience would now be changed to people with say around two  hours of time to fully watch the movie.  By comparing these two mediums and their audiences one can see that since some mediums can require more time to communicate than others it can change the audience of mediums.    

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9B1tN_eTB-Q  What you will notice is the first words out of the ad is " hey there kids", talk about targeting.  And many of the commercials have kids in them.  

Kairos

I believe he wrote this in order to show how everything kind of represents everything else.  Or how there are in most cases connections between nearly everything and that we are all being identified by these connections through meaning.  I thought a plausible thesis was that there are billions upon billions of connections being made around the world.  Examples of these connections are the advertisement that he uses many times to show the connection between the characteristics of humans and computers and the tree roots.  However, I did not understand the connection of the paradox that he talks about.  He also talks about the connection between copy and paste.  This connection is created in the real world for practical reasons.  But one takes the meaning of their task away and they are left alone.  What are they?  Paste:  a function solely based on the idea that something has already been create and selected to be put somewhere with the paste function. Copy:  a function capable of happening but not useful without the paste function.  Meaning in this case is everything for these two and the connection is that their meaning is derived by the other and vis-versa.  They are supplementing each other purely through existents.  Not one before the other but simultaneously they are both created and destroyed.  I found that his message was kind of hard to get from the video and text at first but once I thought about it and started writing this blog, his  ideas were coming to me.

Hipster faith

To start the article with a riddle of that nature really gets the creative and counter argument ideas flowing in the mind of the reader.
Religion is being changed by the change in people around the world.  People are becoming more technological and the church must adapt to the wants in people for it to become so as well.  All aspects are church are changing, for example, the clothing and cussing are pieces of content that are changing.  A medium that is mentioned in the article was music and how it helped to spread the hipster influences that then indirectly influenced the church.  Also clothing was used as an extension of the music by being symbols for the music and that kind of culture itself. The changing audience of religion made it change the most.  With each new generation there are new moral and ethical beliefs and the churches had to adapt quickly, this is supported by the fact that the age of so many at religious event were so low.  The author describes changes in hipster Christianity and then tells how the church is affected be it which helps the reader see the cause and effect more clearly.  I think overall though that much of how he formats the article makes the conclusions he is drawing up to the reader to decide on what she or he believes and how it affects today and his or her own lives.

Boyd blog

The blog about the social media and how people should support the learning of children through them was an interesting article.  I agree with her point that unstructured times of interaction is very valuable because not everything in life is structured.  Boyd uses the example of jobs and how people need their social skills everyday.  I say that the point goes further than just work.  An example of how someone needs social skill, or simply the ability to act in public without structure, would be the graduating from high school.  I myself find college after high school to be full of temptations that i didn't have before.  These temptations are a result of a lack of structure and thus if one has the ability to act "correctly" or "soundly" in the face of temptation then that is a very important ability to have in order to get a job, go to college, etc, etc.  

Representing a picture through words

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=23qzdbn&s=4This picture represents the colmination of a dream.  A dream from each and every player.  This dream pushes each and every one of the to compete as hard as possible.  Why?  This moment captured in this picture is why.  At this moment nothing is high then they are right now.  No on else in the world could beat them.  You are witnessing there dream becoming a reality at this instant.  The dream includes the entering into the high level of one's being by winning the gold metal in the 2008 bejing olymipcs.  This level include the satifaction of an undying respect that all players and true competitors have for one another but especially for that of gold metal winners.  For the rest of these mens' lives they will have respect from any one, even people who don't play sports or understand what it is to be a competitor.  But above all else these men will have respect for themselves that is undeniable to anyone.  It is not wonder that they are all cheering like there is no tomorrow, and thats because for them if there was no tomorrow then they would be content. All this boils down to how happy the players are being lined up to take the photo as the gold metalist.  The smiles and tears couldnt be more genuine.  The feeling couldnt be more great. 

  This dream is also apart of the coaches dreams.  All doing what they can for this moment. 

What they are wearing is a symbol of their team unity.  And since team unity is suppose to help a team win they create such unity.  All the gear says "usa volleyball" on it and have match designs.  All the shoes are the same brand as well.  tiffference in the player are personal attachments such as finger tape. The colors of their clothes are red, white,and blue for the U.S. 

Most importatnly though is the gold metal and flowers that they each have.  The metals were given to the only team to win the olympics and thus no one on earth has one.  The metals are the materialization of a dream and the effort to forth by them out of the new respect that the world has for them.  The colors in the back round are colors from all parts of flags from  the world because this is the olympics.

freeze!!!!!

Watching a volleyball video is exciting for me and complex at the same time.  Having it witten on paper would be extremely hard.  All the yelling and communicating plus all the game play itself is a lot to desribe in words.  Even more so the type of data that is made out of a video on line, such as the exaplme of the 1s and 0s is incredabe.  The system of organization must be so complex.  However, just as the text says there is no way to give the entire video or piece of music the full effects through software.  I agree with this satement becasue even if i'm just texting or talking to a friend about a video, until he or she actually sees it, that emotion and full effect won't be conviede correctly. It seems as though the main point of the article that we went over in class about how meaning is derived from media is why all these collaborations are taking place.  For example,  if I like a particular song and I want it to reflect me in some way and make it meaningful to or about me, by giving it my own touch I give it meaning for myself.  Just like the volleyball video I mentioned earilier, if I want to give it my own meaning I could add music too it, put it on my facebook, or collect other clips with it to make an album of sorts. 
I like the idea about personalized instruments as well because it will give the composer a more real intrsument to protray his emotions and feelings.  Instead of have a person learn to play an instrument the instrument can now learn to play the composer. 

questions for wednesday's presenters

Oscar:  What is going to define genius?  And second, what are the actual physical blocks caused by autism?

Vince: How will political activity change the out come of house power in future cars?  ?what future would you like to see and why?

Research results

There are many things that involve height when I put that into the search engines I used.  There are heights for trees, hair lengths, people with diseases, and heights that correspond to body indexes.  But I finally got heights around the world which is perfect for my comparison of regional heights.  I then typed in "the determinants of height" and  many scholarly articles came up.  Many trying to explain and giving information on ages and such.  Should be interesting to see what affects us when we are younger.  Then some stuff about growth hormones came up and I was trying to figure out some more information about how they might work which might help my research question.  Lastly I typed in "bone growth" to see the basics of how and why bones grow.  This came up with many articles as well.  The only hard part right now is finding comparative heights over the past few hundred years to use to show a pattern over time in human growth.  But by putting my research question in the engine many things came up on the topic that might show a pattern in growth.  This also gave me some difference is in why regional heights exist.

Revised RS question and support

What pattern ,if any, is there between heights of one generation to their children,and how have heights changed over the past few hundred years?

Statistical information
Medical opinions concerning height patterns
Scientific testing or research on height
Medicial opinions on future height
Other publications concerning the topic of height

research question and answers to librarian questions

1) A general layout of the library and its resourses because I have only been there once and it was for a short time.
2) I am a business major, and my topic is about how human heights and generational heights change and are changing.  Maybe why they are change aswell. 
3) " science fiction"  is what I would type.  But if the topic were a little more specific like if I were look for a book I would "books", or maybe one other word to narrow the search.   
4) "female writes of science fiction" is what I would type.
RS question:  Have humans come to be taller than their ansesters over the past several thousand years, what pattern, if any, exists between one generation to the next in relation to their heights?

Writing and reveiw process

My process breaks down the main claim and the evidence.  I start with the main idea and how it is supported by the evidnece.  Next I write out the ideas and evidence like an equation which shows what supports what and thats how the essay should be written.  The ideas shoould flow into the next and so on.  Then I get specific and write out intro and how the ideas should flow. Then the first paragraph and how it should flow and that continues to the conclusion.  After that I usaully write just my theisis and then the body paragraphs after that I write the introduction and the conclusion. 

The peer revising helps me see where the ideas are not connecting and how to chagne my wording to aid the reader in understanding my ideas and how they connect.. 

Ethics journal 2

How do humans achieve potential?
Potential is set by a person for his or herself.  By set I mean a goal or object is set as what fills that potential.  Once that goal is met or object obtained the potential is filled and usually then reset.  I my case I want to be a great volleyball play and to do this I need to touch eleven feet and once that goal is met I will move onto a higher goal.
What limits potential?
The conscience is the only limit to potential.  The last part of the reading talks about how the some people repress potential as a fault.  So if a person represses his or her potential then the only thing holding them back is him or herself. 
What is potential?
A set of actions, abilities, and object set by a person by him or herself as goals to be done.  At the completetion of these goals satisfaction and fulfillment in life is usaually the end result.  A second result might be a change in the potential.  Someone may think that they can have more now and the potneial is increased in their minds and more goals are set. 
Is it true about no pre-established ethics?
I thinks its very true.  When you grow up, you learn how to live life and learn.  If there was a pre-set idea baout how humans are to act you wouldn't have to learn them while you grow up you would simply already know them.  I am finally learning about relationships and how they work in my life now that I am so close to people and am gaining new realtionships.  But if there was a n established way to encorporate relationships into your life then I wouldn't have to learn that on my own right now, I would already know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wUCEhw9wfA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjQ8xIEyQlI

enthics journal

This reading was hard to follow but when read slowly it makes sense to me.  I live by this ethical existences in many ways.  I try to be all that I can be.  One way of doing this is by being as effieceint as I can in order to have more time to become more in that that.  Also, by being somewhat non conformist.  By being different I am being more than what I think "human" is.  Its possible to follow what everyone else has done.  But can I be the one or One of the few to to this or that?  This though drives me to be competetive.  By being competeitive I push myself to be and become more.  And when i'm laying in bed or playing video games or not being effecient I get that guilty feeling described in the reading.  It's just like a deep motivating feeling that can only go way if I do homework or compete.  Unforetunatly I'm human so the time I have to become better isn't always used fully. 

One counter agruement against the point of just being is a sin is that people don't get this guilty feeling sometimes.  Often, most of the time.  Which is something I don't understand, but that's just people I guess.  Some people just are content with just being and allow their potenials to not fill.  But i guess just as strongly as I feel to become more, those other people just have a strong desire to do something else. 

Ultimately, I think the only ethics humans have are the cultural ones and the individual ones that come form the heart.  And the only way to judge these actions based on ethics is to know if they were made with sincere intentions.  And I got my post in way before eight o'clock today. Finally, I get on top of these things. 

what age are we in? what is man's responsibility?

I think that through-out human existence man has always been trying to make progress.  Man always needs purpose.  Progress in one's life is a form of purpose.  Purpose then drives us to make this progress.  First man progressed in social order with the use of religion and government to organize people into collective communities working together to stay alive.  Next the progress in the sciences explained things about religion and about our universe and then brought government to power and also brought ideas of using technology to do basically anything.  The social era brought about the technology because once an era has progressed as far as it can go something must takes its place.  Logic over the spiritual in that case and now maturity over logic.  We can no longer progress with thoughts of money, sex, more, more, more, and more for myself.  We must come together as humans and be mature, open, and honest about our future now that we have the cognitive sense and confidence to do so.  We have the record of our history with which we can predict how our actions affect the world and each other. The era we are in is the end of the technology era and eventually we will move into a refining era where we must come together and be proud together to be so blessed with what we are and stop taking it for granted and start giving it back to our universe.  If not I fear that corruption and suffering will continue forever in many parts of the world.  who can people be satisfied with that.  Doesn't it hurt to see a fellow human suffer for a reason that they don't even understand.  So man's next responsibility is to be mature and use our hearts to make the world I would call "better". There will be sacrifice but that sacrifice should bring a proud sense that what you are doing is help someone less fortunate than you.  The Wesch video showed how that one community tried to fix the relationship instead using law to bring order.  This idea is very mature because those people recognize that people are imperfect and quite different and so the allow the world to work  well relationships which is what connects us all must be maintained.  And due to our differences, laws are not flexible enough to bring TRUE social order.  This is one way a group of people have come together in a mature way and thus thrive and progress in a peaceful way.  Its too bad more humans did not start out this way.  But now is a great time to  start.

complex? Feedback on?Difficult? easy?

I'm finding that the experience with the peer editing very helpful in two ways.  One way is how much it helps to have different people read and give me feed back on my argument and points i'm trying to make and also on the clarity of the essay itself.  The second is how much more confident and willing I am to ask more peers from outside of class to read my essays.  The one thing I am having difficulty with is being able to be as corrective as most of the peer editors on my own writing.  This will ultimately come with time and more experience.  But it would save me much time right now if I was able to write from the reader's perspective.  This is main due to the fact that much of what I see being corrected or questioned are things that I could easily re-word.  Just through that my writing would have much more clarity.  I am starting to like writing because of my cultural anthropology class.  I am finding writing to be fun because its a challenge for myself to write well and really start making points with solid evidence.  Being able to connect my evidence and main point has always been difficult for me, but know I am really seeing the connection and I want to use it.  Cultural anthropology is bring to light so many complex things about the true meaning of why our society does things and now that that I can see that connection I want to using the things I've learned from anthropology to make solid points on complex issues.  So i'm not finding the writing or peer editing complex but all the ways to make a point complex, its like a fun not a scary complex.

Revisions to essay 2

The main change I made was to make the thesis more clear and to draw the support for that thesis.  The peer review revealed that the support for the thesis was confusing and not completely aimed at making the right point.  Some of the parts were awkward and so changed some sentences around to make them more understandable.  Also when I read it again, the point I'm trying to make is a little confusing so I changed it to make it clear.  The peer editing is definitely a great resource.  I have an essay due in my cultural anthropology class on Wednesday that I am going to have my professor look at before the due date as well as a student whom I trust to give me honest feed back.  One revision I made though even before the peer editing was the decision on whether to use second or first person pronouns in my essay.  When I wrote it I used first person pronouns but toward the end using second person pronouns was much more smooth so I changed all the "one"s to a second person pronoun. The one thing I might change about peer review is to have more interaction between the reader and writer.  So instead of reading each other's at the same time maybe have one person go then the other.  That interaction would aid in explaining why things are confusing to the reader and make the changes more accurate to accommodate the reader.

grammar lesson part 3 comma splices

The reason the author wrote this article was because of a book her friend asked her to read.

Mignon Fogarty explains that a splice/fault of a comma is when someone joins two independent clause with a comma with no conjunction.  Thus the whole sentences will be missing just a conjunction such as "but", "and", etc.  The comma is being used to splice the two clauses together, thus a comma "splice".  It's easy too fix the problem. Her simple solution is to place a period where the comma is and make two different sentences.  The "splicing" of a sentence is usually done by a semicolon.  If the sentences are closely related, one might explain the other, then a semicolon is suggested.  However if the sentences are not closely related one should add a conjunction.  Lastly, she writes that sometimes authors use splices to make their writings how they want.

pc6

The main point I want to make from the article and video is that media can have a great affect on the learning process.  The kind of affect on the process is a positive one, which helps kids be more creative and knowledge-able.  Mike Wesch talks about why students need to be more knowledge-able and how they can become so with aid from  an instructor.  Jenkin's article "Why Heather can't write" expresses this main point through the discussion of  how kids use The Daily Prophet.  The article talks about how these kids express themselves by creating characters and histories about these characters and how it helps kids learn creative thinking.  Wesch and Jenkin are both trying to show how creative thinking can being forth a life time of learning and how media has enabled a connection between us which is why people need to be knowledge-able.  In the Wesch video he explains this quite well.  My support for this are an experiment and   some information from MIT's media laboratory.
http://www.ifets.info/journals/12_2/1.pdf   this experiment was trying to test the facilitation of cognitive learning by video games.  The results concluded that video games do aid in facilitate cognitive thinking and a child's development can be aided with a form of video game due to the different types of learning.
http://affect.media.mit.edu/projectpages/lc/AI-ED.PDF:This piece of evidence talks about the affects of emotions on learning.  The reason this piece supports my point is that while playing a video game, one feels a positive emotion(happiness, fulfillment, achievement) which then allow them to learn better while playing. 

Thus I have concluded that media, such as video games, can help aid students to learn because it engages parts of the mind that no other tacks do.  And to make the second link's support more clear, media can make us feel apart of something bigger than ourselves which has driven people in the past and people today to go above and beyond themselves.  When  one is playing a video game, there are many things to think about like magic, flying, and etc that is of the walk and creative and by being in that world it opens one's mind to endless possibilities where the mind can then create things it my never have thought of.    

Jenkin's essay

The concept of collaborative creativity made me think about how people function as a group indirectly.  Everyone seems to be doing something for the purpose not only for him/herself and more so for the respect, apporval, indentity, or ect.  When I play volleyball I play for the respect from my teammates, for myself, and people I know.  The way people are creative because of this is because people have to adapt to get those things.  I get better at volleyball by trying new things and such.  Jenkin's used the example of a musician which fits perfectly.  A rock artist creates new songs to to get the praise from his or her fans.  Our generation uses those new platforms like music and texting (a new created platform) to relate as well to obtain those things.
    The way we all relate from creating new platforms is through all of our unique talents and jobs.  He also uses the example of the cosplayer with the fan-writer.  The whole world turns from these new creations and it guides us to the next ("better" possibly?) thing.  Jobs are based around a globe economy and we are all working together.  In the classroom, the teacher and the students, just like revising each others' essays in class, working together to make "better" essays.
    All this is interesting and supported by examples, however my biggest question for myself and about society is what happens when there isn't a "better", what happens when resources run out, and even what happens to us all when we have collaborated our own possible doom or negative results from consumption unknowingly?  My first answer is that I think people will result to their very basic instincts.  I think people will no longer look for the "better" but turn to relationships and family as the next "better thing".  What else can there be?  Once computers and machines make the world into a work less utopia, what do people work on, when there isn't anything to make?  Nothing.  Only those things that no one can physically see like love, friendship, respect, and an in general peace amongst the world.  Or will people take the other direction?  A destructive path where countries war for no reason and that is the only "better" thing to do.  Collaboration is fascinating but it is the result of an endless chain of human needs which my lead to unpredictable outcomes.

essay revision

The biggest revision to the essay was the creating of an intro-paragraph that introduced my main points.  Before, I had a pretty much nothing introduction that really needed work.  When I had first finished writing it I read through it in study hall with the mens' volleyball's manager of academics.  So the essay I brought into class on   Wednesday was an already revised essay.  Many of those revisions were to make my writing more clean and concise.  Also many of the ideas were not clear, so with her help I made my essay easier to understand from the readers' perspectives.  Since she was a reader, I was able to understand exactly what to change.  I also read it out loud and what I found is that some parts are boring.   However, I did not know how to make them more exciting.  My points were clear and I didn't want to lose content for excitement.  One thing I do hope though is that the readers find those boring parts thought provoking and thus interesting to keep them focused and enjoy my writing.